It may sound strange to hear, but the one thing missing from my childhood experience at summer camp wasn’t unforgettable experiences, incredible activities, or life-changing friendships. The one thing missing was embarrassment.
I’m not talking about humiliating and heart-breaking embarrassment, but rather the kind that builds confidence and resilience, the kind that comes from stepping outside your comfort zone and trying something new even when you’re not sure you’ll be good at it (or, harder still, when you already KNOW you’re not good at it.)
When I went to camp, I separated from my cabin-mates each day and signed up for activities on my own. And, like most of us tend to do, I signed up for the things I was already good at because I knew those felt safe. I talked myself out of trying new things because I was too concerned with what other people might think about me if I tried and failed. I wish I would have realized back then, in my pursuit of safety and success, that the true failure I experienced came from not trying in the first place.
I love that our cabin unit at Camp Highlander provides the same sense of safety that I was seeking as an eight-year old girl. Our cabin unit provides a foundation of safety and support that allows campers to grow and learn through weaknesses and failures just as it does through strengths and triumphs. It’s not simply that our campers experience a variety of opportunities with 10 other people, but that they experience those opportunities with 10 other people who know them, love them, encourage them through hardship, and celebrate them in success.
While some campers shine in one activity, they will struggle in others. And while some campers need encouragement and instruction, others will be able to offer support and friendly advice. Each camper has the chance, not in six hand-selected activities like I experienced, but in every activity, every situation, and every opportunity on camp, to try, to succeed, to fail, to learn, to grow, to encourage others, to push themselves and, yes, to get embarrassed.
I’ve never seen the value of this more than I do now as a mom. My children have grown up attending camp and have tried every activity we offer. And because they’re better at some than others, they sometimes have to do something they either don’t like or they’re not good at. And there are really valuable life lessons in both of those things. My kids don’t like doing homework. They don’t thrive in every subject at school. They don’t make every sports team, win every student government election, ace every class, or win every competition.
But they try. They try out for the team even when they’re not confident they’ll make it. They compete in the spelling bees even when they know there are more advanced spellers out there. They’ve learned, through their time at camp and by experiencing the value of a cabin unit, that success isn’t always measured in winning or being the best. Often times, more success is found through trying and falling short. We learn our limitations, we discover and develop our abilities, we build resiliency, confidence and humility, and we learn that it’s okay to push yourself. It’s even okay to get embarrassed!
My hope is that all of us, as parents, spouses, children, campers, counselors, alumni, employers, employees (and on and on), would not lose sight of this fundamental truth. In life, most of us will have a lot more attempts and ‘failures’ than we will victories. But, when we realize that true success is in the trying, even our failures don’t fail us anymore.
Whatever you’re facing in life, whatever activity or possibility or opportunity you’re considering, I want to encourage you to push yourself, to try, and to maybe, just maybe, get embarrassed. Because the truth is, there’s nothing more embarrassing than spending your life wondering about all the things you didn’t do because you were too scared to try.
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About Melissa Fitzgerald
